Once upon a time, “left” and “right” were just directions. Now they’re battle cries. Social media has become a daily ritual of division, and I’m proposing a new ceremony.
Every day, I scroll through my feed and see the same voices – smart, passionate people I care about – good friends – posting their beliefs like gospel. Long posts. Frequent posts. Fierce posts. And I find myself wondering: what’s their goal?
Do they think today’s the day they’ll finally sway someone into their way of thinking? That this post, this argument, this perfectly crafted zinger will be the one that changes minds? Even when the post itself says, “You aren’t going to change my mind!”
If that’s the case, why keep posting?
I’m not here to change anyone’s political views. How people believe is sacred to them. Sometimes it’s not even about the issues – it’s about identity. Family pride. The stories we were raised with. To depart from that would feel like betrayal. Understood.
A teacher once told me her golden rule before a parent/teacher conference: always start with something nice. Even if the kid had turned the classroom into a circus, and declared war on the substitute teacher, she’d dig deep, real deep, to find a redeeming quality.
“If I were grading Jimmy on energy, he’d be right up there with a triple A+, earning the Energizer Bunny Award.” Apparently if you start with a compliment, parents are more receptive when you get to the stuff they were secretly hoping not to hear.
The same goes for all of us.
When you lead with kindness, it softens the landing. The person is still whirling from the nicety – still basking in the glow of “You’re so thoughtful” or “I admire your passion,” so when the harder truth arrives, it doesn’t hit like a slap. It lands like a nudge.
They’re less likely to retaliate, more likely to reflect. Because compliments disarm. They open the door. And once the door’s open, you can walk in with truth and still be invited to stay.
So, before you add your comment on someone’s post, consider starting with a better lead in:
“You have a valid point.”
“I’ve never thought of it that way.”
“You raise some important concerns.”
Instead of:
“What’s the Kool-Aid flavor of the day?”
“You need to climb out from under that rock.”
“Wake up, you dumb f—-“. Yes, I’ve seen that several times, as vile as it is.
And here’s one that, while insulting, you can’t help but laugh at. It’s just downright funny.
The anger we see online isn’t just digital noise. It’s energy. And energy spreads. It spills into our homes, our communities, and I truly believe, even our weather patterns. Nature feels it.
The vibration of this world is so low right now – erratic, unpredictable, often violent. Isn’t that exactly what our weather pattern is like? I believe Mother Nature isn’t just echoing it back, she’s absorbing it, collaborating with it, mirroring our collective unrest. The storms, the fires, the floods – they’re not random. They’re a response.
Something I find myself often saying – sometimes to friends, often to my husband, and occasionally just to the air around me:
You get much further in life by killing people with kindness.
It’s such a simple concept, yet so often forgotten. People are far more likely to help you, hear you, or even just soften toward you when you approach them with kindness. The opposite only puts people on the defensive. It shuts doors. It hardens hearts.
If your goal is to be heard, to be understood, to make a difference… kindness is your best strategy. Not because it’s weak, but because it’s magnetic. It opens space. It invites people in.
After the recent passing of Charlie Kirk, I read several posts that said, “Although I didn’t agree with his right-wing views…” followed by kind words for his family. And while the sentiment was compassionate, I couldn’t help but wonder – why the preface? Why the need to qualify empathy? When we add caveats to our condolences, we keep the division alive. A grieving family doesn’t need our political positioning. They need our humanity.
But here’s the thing: social media isn’t inherently bad. It’s a tool. A powerful one. It can connect. Uplift. Inspire. It can be medicine. It can also do great harm.
When I started My Happy Place, creating bedroom makeovers for individuals facing serious diagnoses, I saw firsthand how joy was contagious. You put a smile on a child’s face, and it ripples through the whole family.
One of my Directors told me her husband had said, “Forget antidepressants – this is the best medicine in the world for you.” She agreed. Helping someone. Creating beauty. Using your gifts to lift another soul. That’s the real stuff.
Several are stepping away from social media. They’ve reached their limit. I can’t blame them. But here’s another option: decide to use it differently. Use it for the good it can produce.
Let our elected officials handle the politics. That’s what they’re there for. Let’s put our energy into caring for our families, ourselves, and each other. Live your life! Throw a party. Raise the vibration in your own corner.
Now, I know some will say, “Oh sure, let’s just turn a blind eye. Let America crumble. If we don’t march and raise our voices, we’ll suffer.” And I’m not saying you don’t have a valid point. You do -it concerns me too.
But what I’m offering is this: Take a breath. Take a break. Just for a moment. See how it feels to pause the outrage and choose joy. Not forever. Just long enough to remember what we’re fighting for.
I challenge you:
Go two weeks, without posting a single word about politics, division, or outrage – leave current events at the door. I know…that one person who gets under your skin, will post something so wildly conspiratorial, it’ll make your chest heave, your eyebrows do gymnastics. But instead of diving right into the drama of a rebuttal, do the hard thing – ignore it.
And then, each day, post something joyful, kind, or downright silly. Your pet. A poem. A memory. A moment, a reel. See how sappy happy you can get. Just not as a comment to their post – as a standalone post.
I can see it now. Somebody posts: “I can’t believe people still support this madness. It’s terrifying what’s going on in Washington. And someone remembering this challenge, replies, “I baked cookies shaped like clouds today. One looked like a llama. Feeling hopeful.”
We’re all familiar with the “Butterfly Effect” – the idea that a tiny action, like a butterfly flapping its wings, can set off a chain of events that leads to massive, unpredictable consequences elsewhere. Social media carries that same power. Not because of algorithms alone, but because of sharing.
What we put out there doesn’t just stay put – it travels, it multiplies, it lands in places we’ll never see. And whether that ripple is joyful or divisive… is up to us. Every post is a choice. Every share is a wingbeat. Choose wisely.
Time for a toast.
Grab your favorite cocktail, your morning coffee, or even just a glass of water – and raise it high.
Here’s to the quiet power we’re told can’t change the world in sweeping headlines, but can change the tone of a room, the rhythm of a conversation
Here’s to choosing joy when outrage is easier. To listening before replying. To posting something that unites instead of divides. To remembering that kindness is not weakness – it’s leadership.
And if you feel tempted to post something snarky – just whisper it to your cat. They’ll nudge you silently. And the internet will thank you.
Cheers!
If you’ve found any of this speaking to your heart, please share – create that ripple effect of something positive. Let’s raise the vibration!
